Tom Quinn

“bergeron's epitaph for the planet, i remember, which he said should be carved in big letters in a wall of the grand canyon for the flying-saucer people to find was this:

WE COULD HAVE SAVED IT,
BUT WE WERE TOO DOGGONE CHEAP.

only he didn't say "doggone.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Hocus Pocus

“I think Willim Shakespeare was the wisest human being I ever heard of. To be perfectly frank though, that's not saying much. We are impossibly conceited animals, and actually dumb as heck. Ask any teacher. You don't even have to ask a teacher. Ask anybody. Dogs and cats are smarter than we are.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Hocus Pocus

“If you want to really relax sometime, just fall to rock bottom and you'll be a happy man. Most all troubles come from having standards.”
― Thomas Berger, Little Big Man

“He said he hoped a lot of us would have careers in science,' she said. She didn't see anything funny in that. She was remembering a lesson that had impressed her. She was repeating it, gropingly, dutifully. 'He said, the trouble with the world was...'

'The trouble with the world was,' she continued hesitatingly, 'that people were still superstitious instead of scientific. He said if everybody would study science more, there wouldn't be all the trouble there was.'

'He said science was going to discover the basic secret of life some day,' the bartender put in. He scratched his head and frowned. 'Didn't I read in the paper the other day where they'd finally found out what it was?'

'I missed that,' I murmured.

' I saw that, said Sandra. "About two days ago.'

'That's right,' said the bartender.

'What is the secret of life?' I asked.

'I forget,' said Sandra.

'Protein,' the bartender declared. 'They found out something about protein.'

'Yeah,' said Sandra, 'that's it.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Cat’s Cradle