David Hendrickson

“At the stroke of midnight in Washington, a drooling red-eyed beast with the legs of a man and a head of a giant hyena crawls out of its bedroom window in the South Wing of the White House and leaps fifty feet down to the lawn...pauses briefly to strangle the Chow watchdog, then races off into the darkness...towards the Watergate, snarling with lust, loping through the alleys behind Pennsylvania Avenue, and trying desperately to remember which one of those fore hundred identical balconies is the one outside of Martha Mitchell's apartment....Ah...Nightmares, nightmares. But I was only kidding. The President of the United States would never act that weird. At least not during football season.”
― Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72

“If your opponent is of choleric temper,  seek to irritate him.  Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

“While Obama merely bowed clumsily in the direction of Idiot America, John McCain set up housekeeping there.”
― Charles P. Pierce, Idiot America: How Stupidity Became a Virtue in the Land of the Free