Judy

“Beneath the lower point of the balloon swung a car, containing five passengers, scarcely visible in the midst of the thick vapor mingled with spray which hung over the surface of the ocean.”
― Jules Verne, The Mysterious Island

“For the past twelve years, she had arrived at the school at precisely 7:15 each morning. Upon arriving, she went to the teacher’s lounge for a cup of coffee—black with half a teaspoon of sugar.”
― Roderick J. Robison, The Principal's Son

“Nobody would guess that they were sisters. Amy, who was the eldest, had long brown hair and blue eyes, while Sarah had short blonde hair and green eyes.”
― Paul Moxham, The Mystery of the Missing Money

“A little boy and his friends are being called bastards and bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks, "Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom, what is shit?" and she says, "Perfume." So he goes to see his dad (who is carving a chicken), and his dad cuts himself and yells, "Fuck!" The boy asks, "Dad, what does fuck mean?" and dad says "preparing." Then he follows his dad upstairs. A few minutes later his mom and dad are about to have sex when his dad says, "Where are the condoms?" The little boy asks, "What are condoms?" and his father says, "Condoms are coats and jackets." The following night his father invites over some important business clients. The boy opens the door for them and says, "Hello! Please come in, Bastards and bitches. Hang your condoms up here, my mom is upstairs rubbing shit on her face and my dad is downstairs fucking the chicken.”
― Various, 101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes