Brian

“I assure you, Alexandra Pavlovna,' said Pigasov slowly, 'nothing can be worse and more injurious than good-fortune that comes too late. It cannot give you pleasure in any way, and it deprives you of the right--the precious right--of complaining and cursing Providence. Yes, madam, it's a cruel and insulting trick--belated fortune.”
― Ivan Turgenev, The Collected Works of Ivan Turgenev

“He must select the wool. The child must be the result of their combined efforts. Rollo will set aside the best materials, materials intended for maintenance, and he will give them to Ingrid. With these materials Ingrid will build their child. It takes significant effort for Rollo to approach the task with integrity. He fools himself into believing inferior materials are the best so as not to dishonor the fort. The process is slow, exacting. Each selection is a potential trap diverting Rollo’s attention. All he can trust is pain. When a selection results in pain, he knows he has the best. He resents the child and resents his role in the creation of the child. He resents Ingrid for introducing the concept of the child. He resents Ingrid for her control over the process. The strength of his resentment resonates with shocking clarity. Immediate waves of guilt surround the wicked thoughts he is producing. The guilt pushes him further in a direction contrary to his desire. As resentment for the baby elevates, so does his commitment to the task of producing the baby. Thoughts of sabotage stoke guilt, which pulls him further away from agency. He becomes exactly what Ingrid needs him to be in response to not wanting to be what she wants.”
― Matthew Revert, Basal Ganglia

“The qualities of any individual surely rest within the core of their imperfections. How can one be determined from the other without the impurity of idiosyncrasy? Could it be that perfection, in and of itself, is the ultimate failure? A place one should strive for, but never reach? Something beginning at the end can never truly begin. How can existence mean anything when lost to perfection?”
― Matthew Revert, Basal Ganglia

“The successful proliferation of bacteria will eventually destroy the stage on which it lives. The process only knows growth, and growth can only work toward its end.”
― Matthew Revert, Basal Ganglia