Angie

“The differences and disagreements don’t hurt as much as the ways in which we communicate them. Ideally an argument does not have to be hurtful; instead it can simply be an engaging conversation that expresses our differences and disagreements. (Inevitably all couples will have differences and disagree at times.) But practically speaking most couples start out arguing about one thing and, within five minutes, are arguing about the way they are arguing. Unknowingly they begin hurting each other; what could have been an innocent argument, easily resolved with mutual understanding and an acceptance of differences, escalates into a battle. They refuse to accept or understand the content of their partner’s point of view because of the way they are being approached. Resolving an argument requires extending or stretching our point of view to include and integrate another point of view. To make this stretch we need to feel appreciated and respected. If our partner’s attitude is unloving, our self-esteem can actually be wounded by taking on their point of view.”
― John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

“and hold her. Another woman would have instinctively known what Bonnie needed. But as a man, I didn’t know that touching, holding, and listening were so important to her. By recognizing these differences I began to learn a new way of relating to my wife. I would have never believed we could resolve conflict so easily.”
― John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

“Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.”
― Dale Carnegie, How To Stop Worrying & Start Living

“When misunderstandings arise, remember that we speak different languages; take the time necessary to translate what your partner really means or wants to say. This definitely takes practice, but it is well worth it.”
― John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Sunday Times Bestsellar and definitive relationship guide