Barbara

“I am tired. Too full of stuff I've done. Where my legs hurt where my scalp hurts. I'll not fight the thing inside me anymore. Let it eat me up. Please God. I want it to.”
― Eimear McBride, A Girl Is a Half-Formed Thing

“Soon now. They’d win the field soon, and the song in his blood would quiet. Part of him didn’t want it to end, even as his body began to scream to rest. Yet when the battle was done, what would remain? Nothing. Elide had made that clear enough. She loved him, but she hated herself for it. He hadn’t deserved her anyway. She deserved a life of peace, of happiness. He didn’t know such things. Had thought he’d glimpsed them during the months they’d traveled together, before everything went to hell, but now he knew he was not meant for anything like it. But this battlefield, this death-song around him … This, he could do. This, he could savor.”
― Sarah J. Maas, Kingdom of Ash

“He wondered if he could ever make his ego light enough to relax in not having to settle the meaning of things. What would that feel like?”
― Edward St. Aubyn

“Suicide wore the mask of self-rejection; but in reality nobody took their personality more seriously than the person who was planning to kill himself on its instructions. Nobody was more determined to stay in charge at any cost, to force the most mysterious aspect of life into their own imperious schedule.”
― Edward St. Aubyn, At Last