Jessica

“We look high and low for God, but somehow He's not there. So we blame Him and tell ourselves that He must have forgotten us. Or else we decide that He left us long ago, if He was ever around."
"How strange," the little fish said, "to miss what is everywhere."
"Very strange," the old whale agreed. "Doesn't it remind you of fish who say they're thirsty?”
― Michael Jackson, Moonwalk

“My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.”
― Chelsea Handler, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

“My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“My middle school health teacher told us that you can hold eye contact for 10 seconds before scaring or seducing someone.”
― Caroline Kepnes, You