“From what I've seen, it isn't so much the act of asking that paralyzes us--it's what lies beneath: the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen as a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one.
It points, fundamentally, to our separation from one another.”
― The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help
It points, fundamentally, to our separation from one another.”
― The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help
“It's only our faith in illusions that makes life possible. It's believing in reality that does us in every time.”
― The Narrow Road to the Deep North
― The Narrow Road to the Deep North
“Feeling became fashionable and emotion became a theatre in which people were players who no longer knew who they were off the stage.”
― The Narrow Road to the Deep North
― The Narrow Road to the Deep North
“There’s a difference between wanting to be looked at and wanting to be seen.
When you are looked at, your eyes can be closed. You suck energy, you steal the spotlight. When you are seen, your eyes must be open, and you are seeing and recognizing your witness. You accept energy and you generate energy. You create light.
One is exhibitionism, the other is connection.
Not everybody wants to be looked at.
Everybody wants to be seen.”
― The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help
When you are looked at, your eyes can be closed. You suck energy, you steal the spotlight. When you are seen, your eyes must be open, and you are seeing and recognizing your witness. You accept energy and you generate energy. You create light.
One is exhibitionism, the other is connection.
Not everybody wants to be looked at.
Everybody wants to be seen.”
― The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help
“Sometimes it was like Neil was from an alien planet, where people never asked for or shared anything emotional without deeply apologizing first. He assured me that he was simply British. And that we Americans, with all of our loud oversharing and need for random hugs and free admissions to people we've just met of deep, traumatic childhood wounds looks just as alien to them.”
― The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help
― The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help
Debika’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at Debika’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
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