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“Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.
Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.
Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.
Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.”
― Quentin Crisp, The Naked Civil Servant; How To Become A Virgin; Resident Alien

“California is a fine place to live, if you happen to be an orange.”
― Fred Allen

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes