But when your first love tells you how good it is to see you again, you don’t think at all. You just feel.
“That hole torn in the universe will not just close back up so that you can go back to normal. No matter what happens next in your life, it will never be adequate compensation. The life you lost can’t come back. That loss can’t be regained. By definition then, there is absolutely no point in time when you will “recover” from such a loss. And that makes it tricky. If there is no “healing” in terms of being as good as new, if we can’t “recover” any more than someone who has lost their legs can simply will them to grow back, how do we go on?”
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
“You are alone in your grief. You alone carry the knowledge of how your grief lives in you. You alone know all the details, the subtlety and nuance of what’s happened and what’s been lost. You alone know how deeply your life has been changed. You alone have to face this, inside your own heart. No one can do this with you.”
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
“He had a great life, and you were lucky to have him for as long as you did. Be grateful, and move on.” As though a great life lived makes it OK that that great life is now over.”
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
“Here is what grieving people want you to know: We love you. We still love you, even if our lives have gone completely dark, and you can’t seem to reach us. Please stay.”
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
“Our culture sees grief as a kind of malady: a terrifying, messy emotion that needs to be cleaned up and put behind us as soon as possible. As a result, we have outdated beliefs around how long grief should last and what it should look like. We see it as something to overcome, something to fix, rather than something to tend or support. Even our clinicians are trained to see grief as a disorder rather than a natural response to deep loss. When the professionals don’t know how to handle grief, the rest of us can hardly be expected to respond with skill and grace.”
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
Laura’s 2025 Year in Books
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