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Teenage Girls Can...
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Kevin Hearne
“I suspect that many of us, if given the chance to make one person in our lives love us more, would have no trouble in choosing where to point a finger. We are all needy, all vulnerable, all terrified that perhaps that person has an excellent reason to withhold affection. We shape our purposes to make ourselves worthy and often do not see until much later how it was love—or perhaps the lack of it—that both picked us up and dropped us off at crossroads.”
Kevin Hearne, Shattered

Kevin Hearne
“Three gods, two Druids, and a selkie walk into a bar …”
Kevin Hearne, Shattered

Kevin Hearne
“I don’t have enough information to make a rational decision. It’s like you’re asking me to order a drink according to how me nipples are feeling instead of telling me what they’re ready to pour.”
Kevin Hearne, Shattered

Kevin Hearne
“What are you so pleased about?"
"I only drink a little at a time, like half a cup ever four or five months, to maintain my current age. Half a cup has a mild laxative effect."
"What kind of effect?"
"Laxative. It means it loosens the bowels."
"Half a cup has... But you just had me drink a whole pot!"
"That's why I brought you the shovel...”
Kevin Hearne, Shattered

Kevin Hearne
“this guy is pretty slick, Atticus. What else do you think he has in his pockets? Maybe a thick salami for me?> I almost dropped the goblets. Gods, Oberon, it’s a good thing no one can hear you. It’s not polite to ask if a man has a big salami in his pants, okay? Especially this guy. Laughter bubbled forth from Jesus as he poured two generous shots for us. “I like your hound, Siodhachan.” He turned his head a bit to address him. “Hello, Oberon. I can hear what you say as well, and I tell you truly, I have nothing against salami itself. It is best to know when to keep your salami in your pants and when to pull it out, however, and even my priests have had some difficulty with that issue. Fortunately for us, there is little doubt regarding the right course of action in this situation.” He pulled a long soppressata from the same pocket that had produced the goblets.”
Kevin Hearne, Shattered

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