Ivy

“Whatever it is, don't do it!" said Catarina. "It's a bad idea."
"And why do you say that?"
"Because they're the only kind you have," she said. " I have known you a long time, and I am absolutely certain on this subject. If you are planning on becoming a pirate again, its a bad idea."
"I don't repeat my mistakes,"Magnus said, offended.
"You're right. You make all new and even worse mistakes," Catarina told him. "don't do it, whatever it is. Don't lead a werewolf uprising, don't do anything that might contribute to the apocalypse, and don't start your own line of glitter and try to sell it at Sephora”
― Cassandra Clare

“this guy is pretty slick, Atticus. What else do you think he has in his pockets? Maybe a thick salami for me?> I almost dropped the goblets. Gods, Oberon, it’s a good thing no one can hear you. It’s not polite to ask if a man has a big salami in his pants, okay? Especially this guy. Laughter bubbled forth from Jesus as he poured two generous shots for us. “I like your hound, Siodhachan.” He turned his head a bit to address him. “Hello, Oberon. I can hear what you say as well, and I tell you truly, I have nothing against salami itself. It is best to know when to keep your salami in your pants and when to pull it out, however, and even my priests have had some difficulty with that issue. Fortunately for us, there is little doubt regarding the right course of action in this situation.” He pulled a long soppressata from the same pocket that had produced the goblets.”
― Kevin Hearne, Shattered

“The garden of sarcasm is watered with impatience, and mine chose that moment to bloom.”
― Kevin Hearne, Shattered

“It's not polite to ask if a man has a big salami in his pants, okay?”
― Kevin Hearne, Shattered