Douglas

“The phone rang. I picked it up.
“Are you sitting down?” Curran's voice asked.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
Click.
I listened to the disconnect signal. If he wanted me to sit, then I'd stand. I got up. The chair got up with me and I ended up bent over my desk, with the chair stuck to my butt. I grabbed the edge of the chair and tried to pull it off.
It remained stuck.
I would murder him. Slowly. And I'd enjoy every second of it.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"

I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.
- T-shirt”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right