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David Sedaris
“I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.”
David Sedaris, Naked

David Sedaris
“If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.”
David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

David Sedaris
“If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.”
David Sedaris

David Sedaris
“If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”
David Sedaris, Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

David Sedaris
“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”
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