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David Sedaris
“If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.”
David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

David Sedaris
“If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”
David Sedaris, Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

David Sedaris
“I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.”
David Sedaris, Naked

Amy Sedaris
“I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.”
Amy Sedaris, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence

David Sedaris
“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”
David Sedaris

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