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John Balfour

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I am Providence

by Nick Mamatas

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John Balfour said: " I'm rather loathe to give a book the lowest possible rating based on the fact that I am a writer myself and know how difficult the process of completing a simple short story, to say nothing of an entire book, can be. In this case, however, one star i I'm rather loathe to give a book the lowest possible rating based on the fact that I am a writer myself and know how difficult the process of completing a simple short story, to say nothing of an entire book, can be. In this case, however, one star is warranted. The first (and perhaps most germane) criticism, is that, as others have pointed out, the book is deceptively marketed. By its cover art, title, and placement in the Lovecraft/cosmic horror section, one would rightly expect it to be a book written in the genre. And despite being disappointed by the insertion of current year politics early on, I read on as far as I did because the hope I had was that an actual Lovecraftian horror would be uncovered: some real cult worshiping a real entity that lives under Providence by giving it human sacrifice or something of the sort.

Instead it remained a slog of a murder mystery that can only claim to be tangentially tied to Lovecraft because it takes place in a hotel hosting a convention called the Summer Tentacular. The only vaguely supernatural element in the story is that the first character murdered, Panossian, finds that his brain is still alive and he narrates the chapters in which the author finds contrived excuses to put the other characters in the morgue. But as is made clear, this doesn't make him a zombie or undead; it's just the author speculating on what happens to the brain after death. The brain remaining alive for a time after death is admittedly a bit disturbing, but is weak as a straight horror device, and does not unnerve me anywhere near the level of Lovecraft's best.

I've researched the author somewhat and saw other reviews saying that this is his satirical take on conventions and the Lovecraft fandom, while being a big fan himself. Yet, at no point did I get the impression that any of it was a good-natured, self-deprecating poke at Lovecraft or his fans. What I mainly got was sneering derision and subversion of the same [this is basically Panossian's raison d'etre when he says at the beginning of chapter 5: "But let's just say I was a jerk to a lot of people. A lot of very mentally unstable people... "I got my first death threat soon after publishing my first story. "De-Animated" was a story about Andy Warhol conducting a screen test of Dr. Allan Halsey and Buck Robinson, two of the men brought back to a semblance of life by Herbert West in Lovecraft's story "Herbert West--Reanimator." In my story, not a whole lot happens, just like in one of Warhol's films, and then Warhol has the violent zombies dress up like beauty queens and engage in gay sex while he silently masturbates in the corner."] while trying to be more clever and funny than the author's ability allows. My review was going to be a bit more long winded, giving specific examples of the bad writing and dull characters, but that would be giving the book more time than it deserves. ...more "

Mar 12, 2022 10:50AM · see review

John’s Quotes

“The things I believed in dont exist any more. It's foolish to pretend that they do. Western Civilization finally went up in smoke in the chimneys at Dachau but I was too infatuated to see it. I see it now.”
― Cormac McCarthy, The Sunset Limited

tags: dark, existentialism, realist

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