Julia Schreder

“I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.”
― Jon Stewart

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
― Paul Terry

“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein