Amanda Balm

“cos' your hands were exploring more than Dora. I wouldn't have minded but Dora had a map and a compass so she knows where she was going. You on the other hand were like a tourist in the center of London. Lost as a fucking fiddle.

-Mia Hastings”
― Makeandoffer, Illegal My Ass

“Asscrown," I muttered under my breath as I headed to my next class. I wasn't proud of swearing at a complete stranger, no. but he started it.

Noah matched my pace. "Don't you mean 'assclown'?" He looked amused.

"No," I said, louder this time. "I mean asscrown. The crown on top of the asshat that covers the asshole of the assclown. The very zenith in the hierarchy of asses," I said, as though I was reading from a dictionary of modern profanity.

"I guess you nailed me then.”
― Michelle Hodkin, The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

“Mackenzie raises her hand proudly. “I have a bagina.”
I smirk. “Yes, you do sweetheart. And someday, it’s gonna help you rule the world.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“God. I may end up being the first man in history capable of masturbating without touching himself. Look, Mom—no hands.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled