Mark Johnson

“Shopping for clothes is a Boyfriend Thing. You stand around and look blankly at a bunch of pieces of fabric and you look at the price tags and you wonder how something that'd barely cover your right nut can cost the price of a kidney and you watch the shop assistants check you out and wonder what you're doing with her because she's cute and you're kind of funny-looking and she tries clothes on and you look at her ass in a dozen different items that all look exactly the same and let's face it you're just looking at her ass anyway and it all blurs together and then someone sticks a vacuum cleaner in your wallet and vacuums out all the cash and you leave the store with one bag so small that mice couldn't fuck in it. Repeat a dozen times or until the front of your brain dies.”
― Warren Ellis, Crooked Little Vein

“It was a hot, moist armpit of a night...”
― Mike Carey, The Naming of the Beasts

“Please don't be dead. Because then I'd have to be the Sorcerer Supreme and there's no way I could rock the 'stache.”
― Brian Michael Bendis, The New Avengers, Vol. 3

“What if I left my memory in the future and I have to catch up to it?”
― Warren Ellis, FreakAngels, Volume 1