Jade

“I swear quietly and violently. Leaving my waffle feels like parting from a lover too soon. Our relationship has barely begun.”
― Lucy Mangan, Are We Having Fun Yet?

“My twelve-year-old boss is not missing a chance to note my every perceived professional failing (she recently graduated from business school, majoring in Entitled Bullshit, and is planning to overhaul the entire charity sector by the time she’s old enough to vote).”
― Lucy Mangan, Are We Having Fun Yet?

“EVIE: (over the sound of pillows being plumped) I’m more related to Mummy than I am to you.
RICHARD: How so?
EVIE: She gave birth to me! From her tummy! (Ruminative pause.) What does the man do to help anyway?
RICHARD: He catches the baby when it comes out, so it doesn’t get all mucky on the floor.”
― Lucy Mangan, Are We Having Fun Yet?

“Moles inspected and cleared for duty. Facemask applied, pores emptied. Feel like my face has lost weight.
Made massive fish pie – white sauce from jar, and children have been brainwashed over the years into thinking mashed potatoes should be lumpy, so edible – gave some to them for tea, froze remaining eight portions with sense of contentment I do not expect to feel again this side of the grave.”
― Lucy Mangan, Are We Having Fun Yet?