Haley

“listened to more audiobooks in the same genre, some written in such lousy prose that I believed I was killing off brain cells faster than either schizoaffective disorder or trauma could;”
― Esmé Weijun Wang, The Collected Schizophrenias: Essays

“The story of schizophrenia is one with a protagonist, “the schizophrenic,” who is first a fine and good vessel with fine and good things inside of it, and then becomes misshapen through the ravages of psychosis; the vessel becomes prone to being filled with nasty things. Finally, the wicked thoughts and behavior that may ensue become inseparable from the person, who is now unrecognizable from what they once were.”
― Esmé Weijun Wang, The Collected Schizophrenias: Essays

“I don’t want to go into the liminal realms. I want to know how to control myself when frightening things happen to me, and if there’s a chance that a ribbon around my ankle will keep me either tethered to this world or safer, somehow, when I do tumble out of it—though it may need to be used in tandem with medication, and reported to my psychiatrist—that’s good enough for me.”
― Esmé Weijun Wang, The Collected Schizophrenias: Essays

“The only thing left afterward was a red cardigan. I left it in a bag and put it outside, but no one took it. When C. finally noticed the cardigan, he said, “But you love that cardigan.” Did I love that cardigan? I couldn’t tell if I loved him or my mother, let alone a cardigan that I’d worn around my studio for a year. I threw the cardigan away.”
― Esmé Weijun Wang, The Collected Schizophrenias: Essays