Brad

“The High Street was full of farmers, cows, and other animals, the majority of the former well on the road to intoxication. It is, of course, extremely painful to see a man in such a condition, but when such a person in endeavouring to count a perpetually moving drove of pigs, the onlooker's pain is sensibly diminished.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Tales of St. Austin's

“Billie knew all. And, terrible though the fact is as an indictment of the male sex, when a woman knows all, there is invariably trouble ahead for some man.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Girl on the Boat

“Deep down in his heart the genuine Englishman has a rugged distaste for seeing his country invaded by a foreign army. People were asking themselves by what right these aliens had overrun British soil. An ever-growing feeling of annoyance had begun to lay hold of the nation.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Swoop!, or How Clarence Saved England: A Tale of the Great Invasion

“A girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Plot That Thickened