Jared

“we’re going to explain why trying to control your child will not give you the results you want, and why it risks creating kids who must then constantly be pushed because their own internal motivation has either not developed or has been eroded by external pressure. We’re also going to ask you to consider a different philosophy than that of parent as enforcer: that of parent as consultant. Think about what good consultants do in the business world: They ask what the problems are and which ones are most important. They ask what their clients are willing to commit to or sacrifice in order to reach a desired goal. They give advice, but they do not try to force their client to change, because they recognize that ultimately it’s the client’s responsibility. “This is my child, not a client,” you might be thinking. True. But what’s also true is that it is your child’s life, not yours.”
― William Stixrud, The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives