Cristina

“To be passive is to let others decide for you. To be aggressive is to decide for others. To be assertive is to decide for yourself.

In myths, nothing good comes from gloating. You have to let the gods maintain the image of their singular power.

I did not yet know that nightmares know no geography, that guilt and anxiety wander borderless.

It is a reflex to expect the bad with the good.

I don't know what fears kept hidden only grow more fierce. I don't know that my habits of pretending are only making us worse.

Maybe moving forward also meant circling back.

There are always two worlds. The one that I choose and the one that I deny, which inserts itself without my permission.

To change our behavior, we must change our feelings and to change our feelings, we must change our thoughts.

Freedom is bout choice - about choosing compassion, humor, optimism, intuition, curiosity and self-expression.

To be free is to live in the present.

When you have something to prove, you are not free.

When we grieve, it's not just over what happened - we grieve for what didn't happen.

You can't heal what you can't feel.

It's easier to hold someone or something else responsible for your pain than to take responsibility for ending your own victimhood.

Our painful experiences aren't a liability, they are a gift. They give us perspective and meaning, an opportunity to find our unique purpose and our strength.

One of the proving grounds for our freedom is in how we relate to our loved ones.

There is no forgiveness without rage.

But to ask "why" is to stay in the past, to keep company with our guilt and regret. We can't control other people and we can't control the past.

You can't change what happened, you can't change what you did or what was done to you. But you can choose how you live now.”
― Edith Eva Eger, The Choice: Embrace the Possible

“So often when we are unhappy it is becasue we are taking too much responsibility or we are taking too little. Instead of being assertive and choosing clearly for ourselves, we might become aggressive (choosing for others) or passive (letting others choose for us), or passive-aggressive (choosing for others by preventing them from achieving what they are choosing for themselves).”
― Edith Eva Eger, The Choice: Embrace the Possible

“To love someone is like moving into a house," Sonja used to say. "At first you fall in love in everything new, you wonder every morning that this is one's own, as if they are afraid that someone will suddenly come tumbling through the door and say that there has been a serious mistake and that it simply was not meant to would live so fine. But as the years go by, the facade worn, the wood cracks here and there, and you start to love this house not so much for all the ways it is perfect in that for all the ways it is not. You become familiar with all its nooks and crannies. How to avoid that the key gets stuck in the lock if it is cold outside. Which floorboards have some give when you step on them, and exactly how to open the doors for them not to creak. That's it, all the little secrets that make it your home.”
― Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Ove

“We always think there's enough time to do things with other people. Time to say things to them. And then something happens and then we stand there holding on to words like 'if'.”
― Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Ove