Andrew Hamblin

“Just so," said Bariano with equanimity. "But let me cite you a parable, or, if you prefer, a paradox. Assume that you are lying in bed asleep. Your dreaming brings you into the company of an alluring woman who starts to make exciting suggestions. At this moment a large dirty pet animal clambers upon the bed and sprawls its hairy bulk beside you with its tail draped over your forehead. You move restlessly in your sleep and in so doing press your face against one of its organs. In your dream it seems that the beautiful woman is kissing you with warm moist lips, causing a delightful sensation. You are thrilled and exalted! Then you wake up and discover the truth of the contact, and you are displeased. Now then: consider carefully! Should you enjoy the rapture of the dream? Or, after beating the animal, should you huddle cheerlessly in the dark brooding upon the event? Arguments can be developed in either direction.”
― Jack Vance

“Where was his knife, upon which he relied? He had cut cheese for their noonday meal, and had packed the knife away with the cheese.
Aillas said: 'Sir, before we continue with this matter, may I offer you a bite of cheese?'
'I care for no cheese, though it is an amusing concept.'
'In that case, allow me a moment while I cut a morsel or two for myself, as I hunger.'
'I have no time to spare while you eat cheese; prepare instead for death.”
― Jack Vance, The Green Pearl

“It is an unthinkable discrepancy that fifty-four men should consume the food intended for fifty-three.”
― Jack Vance

“I understand that in your youth you contrived a few outrages of your own."
"In my youth?" sputtered Navarth. "I have contrived outrages all my life!”
― Jack Vance