Ioana

“I’ll be honest, right now you could probably talk me into anything. Chains or leather or ducks.”
“Ducks?”
“Whatever.”
Pen pressed against him. “What would I use a duck for?”
“Don’t ask me. I said you could talk me into it, not that it was my idea.”
“I’m not doing anything with a duck.”
“Fine. Forget the duck.”
― K.J. Charles, An Unsuitable Heir

“It is the right of a traveller to vent their frustration at every minor inconvenience by writing of it to their friends.”
― Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell

“Stabbity, stabbity, stab. That will be two dollars.’ ‘No,’ I say, ‘that’s not how assassination works. You do not charge the corpse.’ So she thinks about it and says, ‘My friend Keith,’ (another small munchkin salutes) ‘he’s from the Guild of Alchemists and will bring you alive again for three dollars.’ So with rigor mortis setting in, I stuck my hand in my pocket and gave them some of the fake convention money and then she smiled sweetly and said, ‘And for five dollars, I won’t kill you again.’ It was amazing to see how this Ankh-Morpork system evolved during the con.”
― Terry Pratchett, A Slip of the Keyboard: Collected Non-fiction

“The subtext of all table manners is the fear that the man next to you may pull his knife on you.”
― Bee Wilson, Consider the Fork: A History of How We Cook and Eat