696 books
—
414 voters
“Fine. Whatever. She’s so unpleasant. Beautiful, sure, but it’s like putting a dress on a badger. Pretty dress. Nice face. Still a badger.”
― Unclean Spirits
― Unclean Spirits
“Kidnapped by a vampire, death by a squid. How tragic.”
― Dinner with a Vampire
― Dinner with a Vampire
“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.
”
― Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.
― Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.
“I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay”
― This Book Is Full of Spiders
― This Book Is Full of Spiders
“I'm afraid it's not nonsense," Genghis said, shaking his turbaned head and continuing his story. "As I was saying before the little girl interrupted me, the baby didn't dash off with the other orphans. She just sat there like a sack of flour. So I walked over to her and gave her a kick to get her moving."
"Excellent idea!" Nero said. "What a wonderful story this is! And then what happened?"
"Well, at first it seemed like I'd kicked a big hole in the baby," Genghis said, his eyes shining, "which seemed lucky, because Sunny was a terrible athlete and it would have been a blessing to put her out of her misery."
Nero clapped his hands. "I know just what you mean, Genghis," he said. "She's a terrible secretary as well."
"But she did all that stapling," Mr. Remora protested.
"Shut up and let the coach finish his story," Nero said.
"But when I looked down," Genghis continued, "I saw that I hadn't kicked a hole in a baby. I'd kicked a hole in a bag of flour! I'd been tricked!"
"That's terrible!" Nero cried.”
― The Austere Academy
"Excellent idea!" Nero said. "What a wonderful story this is! And then what happened?"
"Well, at first it seemed like I'd kicked a big hole in the baby," Genghis said, his eyes shining, "which seemed lucky, because Sunny was a terrible athlete and it would have been a blessing to put her out of her misery."
Nero clapped his hands. "I know just what you mean, Genghis," he said. "She's a terrible secretary as well."
"But she did all that stapling," Mr. Remora protested.
"Shut up and let the coach finish his story," Nero said.
"But when I looked down," Genghis continued, "I saw that I hadn't kicked a hole in a baby. I'd kicked a hole in a bag of flour! I'd been tricked!"
"That's terrible!" Nero cried.”
― The Austere Academy
The Humour Club
— 1644 members
— last activity Dec 16, 2025 01:46PM
A group for readers and writers of humorous fiction.
ThePotatoKING’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at ThePotatoKING’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
ThePotatoKING hasn't connected with their friends on Goodreads, yet.
Favorite Genres
Comics, Crime, Fantasy, Graphic novels, Horror, Humor and Comedy, Manga, Mystery, Paranormal, Psychology, Science fiction, Self help, Suspense, Thriller, Young-adult, adventure, choose-your-own-adventure, anime, detective, drawing, funny, steampunk, zombies, pirates, seinen, shonen, psychological-thriller, dark, bizarro-fiction, slice-of-life, and humor
Polls voted on by ThePotatoKING
Lists liked by ThePotatoKING
























