Paul McGuire

“Calvin: Dad where do babies come from?
Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions.
Calvin: I came from Sears?
Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart - almost as good and a lot cheaper!”
― Bill Waterson

“I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that.”
― Bob Newhart

“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
― Mark Twain

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
― George Carlin