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Bambi
https://www.goodreads.com/gflower
progress:
(page 24 of 178)
""نظرت إلي بدقة وقالت: أنت تحيا داخل رأسك. صدمتني دقة الجملة: أحيا في رأسي، أي لست حتى نصف حي.. أي في صحراء أو جثة، لا فرق. من الخارج، كنت مرحاً، واثقاً من نفسي، وأفيض بالحياة، أدعي ذلك أو أتظاهر به. ولا أدري أين نفصل بين الإنسان وبين ما يدعيّه عن نفسه، ويتظاهر به."" — May 24, 2018 03:46PM
""نظرت إلي بدقة وقالت: أنت تحيا داخل رأسك. صدمتني دقة الجملة: أحيا في رأسي، أي لست حتى نصف حي.. أي في صحراء أو جثة، لا فرق. من الخارج، كنت مرحاً، واثقاً من نفسي، وأفيض بالحياة، أدعي ذلك أو أتظاهر به. ولا أدري أين نفصل بين الإنسان وبين ما يدعيّه عن نفسه، ويتظاهر به."" — May 24, 2018 03:46PM
“I am dazed by the beauty of my body. today I looked at myself with your eyes. discovered the soft curve of shoulders the tired round breasts which want to sleep and slowly roll down in spite of themselves. my legs unfolding offering infinitely up to the limits absent from what is me and what beyond me throbs in every leaf in every raindrop. I saw myself as if through glass in your eyes looking at me. I felt your hands on the warm tight skin of my thighs and obeying your command I stood naked before a huge mirror. and then I covered your eyes not to see and not to feel the loneliness of my body blossoming with you.”
―
―
“When I go into the garden, there she is.
The specter holds up her arms to show
that her hands are eaten off.
She is silent because of the agony.
There is blood on her face.
I can see she has done this to herself.
So she would not feel the other pain.
And it is true, she does not feel it.
She does not even see me.
It is not she anymore, but the pain itself
that moves her. I look and think
how to forget. How can I live while she
stands there? And if I take her life
what will that make of me? I cannot
touch her, make her conscious.
It would hurt her too much.
I hear the sound all through the air
that was her eating, but it is on its own now,
completely separate from her. I think
I am supposed to look. I am not supposed
to turn away. I am supposed to see each detail
and all expression gone. My God, I think,
if paradise is to be here
it will have to include her.”
―
The specter holds up her arms to show
that her hands are eaten off.
She is silent because of the agony.
There is blood on her face.
I can see she has done this to herself.
So she would not feel the other pain.
And it is true, she does not feel it.
She does not even see me.
It is not she anymore, but the pain itself
that moves her. I look and think
how to forget. How can I live while she
stands there? And if I take her life
what will that make of me? I cannot
touch her, make her conscious.
It would hurt her too much.
I hear the sound all through the air
that was her eating, but it is on its own now,
completely separate from her. I think
I am supposed to look. I am not supposed
to turn away. I am supposed to see each detail
and all expression gone. My God, I think,
if paradise is to be here
it will have to include her.”
―
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