Ellen Mallernee

“I waited for years for my infatuation to blow over, managing it like a chronic illness. But suppression only sustains and intensifies passion instead of letting it peter out into domesticity, the way the narrow glass canyons of Manhattan Venturi the winds to a pitch that rips umbrellas inside out. Kati Jo used to say she wished Lauren and I could just fuck so I'd get it out of my system, but I never wanted anything as feasible as an affair. I never imagined that Lauren might leave her husband, or entertained shameful little daydreams about his death. The only scenario I could plausibly picture that would bring us together was not Lars's death but my own. I would contract some painless terminal illness that would entitle me to ask Lauren to sit at my bedside in my last months and read to me or bring me little sandwiches. I couldn't envision any realistic way of changing this world; what I wanted was to live in a different one. I was never really a reformer, but a utopian.”
― Tim Kreider, I Wrote This Book Because I Love You: Essays

“Don’t play old tapes. Just cut the very root, just drop the whole idea of old patterns and old habits and start living in a new way. And it is only a question of decision. Once you decide, things start changing, because everything depends on your decision. That is the meaning of the word decision: it means ’it cuts’, decision. It cuts your past, it creates a discontinuity.”
― Osho, Let go!: A darshan diary

“And the way to it is surrender. Stop fighting. And to stop fighting just an understanding is needed, because it creates misery, it never brings bliss. So to stop it is not a problem. The only problem is to understand it, to understand how we are creating our own misery. The ego is a self-created hell. The mind is our own creation and it is a nightmare, a constant on-going nightmare.
When the mind is no more, for the first time one realises how beautiful life is, what a benediction, what a blessing. Then celebration starts. Learn to be in a let-go.”
― Osho, Let go!: A darshan diary

“I can tell you we were right, our bodies were right, life was really going to be that good, that pleasurable in every cell. Suddenly I remember the exact look of your body, but better than that the bright corners of your eyes, or the light of your face, the rich Long Island puppy-fat of your thighs, or the slick chino of your pants bright in the corners of my eyes, I remember your extraordinary act of courage in loving me”
― Sharon Olds