Alex Banner

“Lying was a sin, apparently, unless you did it outrageously and persistently enough, in which case it qualified as scripture.”
― Joe Abercrombie, The Devils

“His recklessness or her ambition alone could not have done it. But like two chemicals which, apart, are merely mildly poisonous, combined they had produced an unstable explosive which had blown both their lives and thousands of others to hell.”
― Joe Abercrombie, The Wisdom of Crowds

“The thing about history is you don’t know what the right side is till long afterwards, and by then it hardly matters.” “That’s the sort o’ thing you hear from folk who know they’re on the wrong side.”
― Joe Abercrombie, The Wisdom of Crowds

“I suppose it looks less like murder if you hang someone from a chandelier.”
Nic winced. “Can you stop saying that?”
“Saying what? Chandelier? I think they call it a lustre in France, but—”
“No, that’s what the dangly bits are called.”
“Really? I didn’t know that.”
“What did you think they were called? Dangly bits?”
Leaf shrugged. “I’d honestly never thought about it, but I don’t see why you want me to stop saying chan— the c word.”
Laughing, he gripped her shoulders. “Leaf, stop talking and take a deep breath. I wasn’t trying to stop you from saying chandelier. Look, see? I said it. Chandelier. We have a lot of them in this house; I’d be in trouble if I didn’t like the word. Chan-de-lier.” With a flick of his fingers, he conjured a small ring of light that hovered in the air beside them, its miniature candles flickering.
“Oh, that’s so pretty. You’re really good at that.”
“Mere showiness, I assure you.”
Leaf stared at his conjured chandelier as it twinkled and faded into the dust motes. “Yes, but that doesn’t change the fact that we need to know for sure whether Gillingham was murdered. Else every other question is pointless.”
“You see, that was the very word I wanted you to stop saying.”
Leaf looked entirely baffled. “Which word?”
“Murder. And murdered. And murderer. And—”
“What would you rather I call it? Premeditated life extinguishing?”
“You know what? Forget I said anything.”
“I can do that, but will it give me my five minutes back?”
― Rebecca Ide, The Gentleman and His Vowsmith