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Terry Pratchett
“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door, the scream of fire engines, or the realization that today is the Monday which on Friday night was a comfortably long way off.

A dog's wet nose is not strictly speaking the worst of the bunch, but it has its own peculiar dreadfulness which connoisseurs of the ghastly and dog owners everywhere have come to know and dread. It's like having a small piece of defrosting liver pressed lovingly against you.”
Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

Terry Pratchett
“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”
Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett
“What have I always believed?
That on the whole, and by and large, if a man lived properly, not according to what any priests said, but according to what seemed decent and honest inside, then it would, at the end, more or less, turn out all right.”
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

Terry Pratchett
“She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.”
Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

Terry Pratchett
“Albert grunted. "Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?"
Mort thought for a moment.
"No," he said eventually, "what?"
There was silence.
Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right.”
Terry Pratchett, Mort

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