Randi

“Nice piano," I said. "Do you play?"
"oh no, but Edwart does!" Eva Mullen said.
"A little," Edwart said sheepishly.
"Go ahead, play!" Eva said. She picked up the triangle that was lying on the piano and handed it to Edwart. He started banging on it. It sounded like construction work very early in the morning.
"Whoops. I messed up. Let me start over," he said.
He started banging again.
"Wait. Uh. I haven't practiced in a while. Let me start over."
Edwart continued to bang the triangle. Eva closed her eyes and raised her arms, swaying rhythmically to Edwart's music. Edwart held the triangle up high, in what appeared to be a grand finish, but then he brought it down hard, hitting the top of the piano. He continued to bang the piano, putting the entire force of his slim body into each smash. The piano shook. The room vibrated. When he finished I subtly removed my hands from my ears.
"I wrote that for you," Edwart murmured, drawing me close. "It's called Belle's Lullaby.”
― The Harvard Lampoon, Nightlight: A Parody

“You're lucky I was on that roof all day. That old man... he was trying to sell you a Sega product.”
― Harvard Lampoon, Nightlight: A Parody

“So, Belle, what's new today?"

Dad," I said, grasping his hands and looking directly into his eyes. "I'm in the deepest love that has ever occurred in the history of the world."

Gosh, Belle. When someone asks you 'What's new?' the correct answer is 'Not much'. Besides, isn't it a little soon to cut yourself off from the rest of your peers, depending on a boyfriend to satisfy your social needs as opposed to making friends? Imagine what would happen if something forced that boy to leave! I'm imagining pages and pages would happen - with nothing but the names of the months on them.”
― Harvard Lampoon, Nightlight: A Parody

“After dinner, Edwart took me upstairs to see his room. At the top of the stairs was a giant wooden cross.

"Ironic, huh?" Edwart said.

"Why?" I asked with trepidation, imagining that, at any second, Edwart would turn into dust, which I would then sweep up and disperse over my furniture so he would always be with me.

"Because we're Jewish, of course--nonpracticing.”
― The Harvard Lampoon, Nightlight