Ivy

“I would really like to keep living.” “Yeah?” Randy pounced. “How would you like to live… forever?” Unfortunately, his offer had the opposite of its intended effect, as I immediately and permanently died. The undeterred Randy proceeded to explain to my corpse that Christmas isn’t real and the Bible predicted that the earth was round, which was proof that the Bible was scientific fact. This went on for the next twenty minutes, during which Randy got lost twice as he was apparently proselytizing too hard to look at the GPS. It was less a ride share and more a low-grade kidnapping for which I was being charged. To his credit, though, it did feel like eternity.”
― Lindy West, The Witches are Coming

“When you follow a vegan diet, there is much less need for surgeons to clean out your arteries or intestinal tract!”
― Neal D. Barnard, Vegan Starter Kit: Everything You Need to Know About Plant-Based Eating

“Actually, the only time I ever tried to cultivate being sexy was when I read Peyton Place. I was about sixteen and I read that this guy's watching this woman walk and he can tell she's a good fuck by the way she walks. It's a whole passage. He's telling Allison McKenzie, "I know you're a virgin." And she says, "Well, how?" And he says, "I can tell by the way you walk." And I thought, Uh-oh, everybody knows! I was ashamed to be a virgin, so I tried to cultivate a fucked walk. I tried to figure out what it looked like. I figured I'd watch any hot woman I could. I mean, look at Jeanne Moreau. You watch her walk across the street on the screen and you know she's had at least a hundred men. (Penthouse interview, 1976)”
― Patti Smith

“livid, adj.

Fuck You for cheating on me. Fuck you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating, anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he’d gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Fuck you. This isn’t about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned.”
― David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary