“Upon arriving at the murder scene, they saw Deputy Sheriff Peewee Stubblefield pacing back and forth on the front walk. He stopped and smirked as Sheriff Roosevelt Baker braked the patrol car. He emitted a noise sounding more like a groan than a sigh.”
― Easy Peasy: An Appalachian Town Diner Cozy Mystery
― Easy Peasy: An Appalachian Town Diner Cozy Mystery
“No sex?" He looked at me in disbelief. "Well if you can't have ze sex, what can you do?"
For the sake of simplicity I took my left arm and lined it up just under my collarbones. "Nothing below here," I said. I took my right arm and lined it up to my knees. "Nothing above here."
"What about your armpit?" he asked. "Can your boyfriend do anything he wants to your armpit?"
I thought about it. Armpits seemed pretty harmless. "Yeah," I said optimistically. "My boyfriend can do anything he wants to my armpit."
"This is good," the Frenchman said. "He can stick his penis in and out of your armpit, and if you grow hair there it is almost like vagine."
Is it too late to change my answer? I wondered, pulling a cardigan over my bare shoulders and covering any hint of an invitation.”
― The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance: A Memoir
For the sake of simplicity I took my left arm and lined it up just under my collarbones. "Nothing below here," I said. I took my right arm and lined it up to my knees. "Nothing above here."
"What about your armpit?" he asked. "Can your boyfriend do anything he wants to your armpit?"
I thought about it. Armpits seemed pretty harmless. "Yeah," I said optimistically. "My boyfriend can do anything he wants to my armpit."
"This is good," the Frenchman said. "He can stick his penis in and out of your armpit, and if you grow hair there it is almost like vagine."
Is it too late to change my answer? I wondered, pulling a cardigan over my bare shoulders and covering any hint of an invitation.”
― The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance: A Memoir
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