“Protracted loneliness causes you to shut down socially, and to be more suspicious of any social contact, he found. You become hypervigilant. You start to be more likely to take offense where none was intended, and to be afraid of strangers. You start to be afraid of the very thing you need most. John calls this a “snowball” effect, as disconnection spirals into more disconnection. Lonely people are scanning for threats because they unconsciously know that nobody is looking out for them, so no one will help them if they are hurt. This snowball effect, he learned, can be reversed—but to help a depressed or severely anxious person out of it, they need more love, and more reassurance, than they would have needed in the first place. The tragedy, John realized, is that many depressed and anxious people receive less love, as they become harder to be around. Indeed, they receive judgment, and criticism, and this accelerates their retreat from the world. They snowball into an ever colder place.”
― Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions
― Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions
“After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.”
― The Diaries of Adam & Eve: Translated by Mark Twain
― The Diaries of Adam & Eve: Translated by Mark Twain
“Never forget the nine most important words of any family-
I love you.
You are beautiful.
Please forgive me.”
―
I love you.
You are beautiful.
Please forgive me.”
―
“You aren’t a machine with broken parts. You are an animal whose needs are not being met. You need to have a community. You need to have meaningful values, not the junk values you’ve been pumped full of all your life, telling you happiness comes through money and buying objects. You need to have meaningful work. You need the natural world. You need to feel you are respected. You need a secure future. You need connections to all these things. You need to release any shame you might feel for having been mistreated.”
― Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions
― Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions
“Managers who do not understand people's different thinking styles cannot understand how the people working for them will handle different situations.”
― Principles: Life and Work
― Principles: Life and Work
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