Vincent

“Physics holds that the faster you go, the slower time goes, and that if you go close to the speed of light time goes very slowly, and that you cannot go faster than the speed of light but if you ever do you go back in time. This idea was first introduced by Albert Einstein a very high speed ago.”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are Dead.

“Meanwhile, Travis (who did not believe planes could fly so had already resigned himself to the crash) was reading through the literature on the back of a seat in front of him. He tossed aside a magazine entitled, “So You’re Trapped On An Airplane And Have No Choice But To Buy Things To Pass The Time,” and pulled out a new one that said, “How to operate a parachute: a quick guide.”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are A Ghost. (Sign Here Please)

“as long as you have an agenda and stick to it you can make sure nothing accidentally gets done.”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are Doomed. (Sign Here Please)

“Subsequently, the Nevada road beaver has adapted to the lack of rivers in Nevada by damming roads instead. Then, once a car stops for the dam, the beavers viciously savage whoever gets out of it, steal all their stuff, hijack the car, and drive it to a place that has an undammed river and non-radioactive air, like, say, Canada, then spend the stolen money on piña coladas that they then happily drink in the warm Canadian sun.”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are Doomed. (Sign Here Please)