Vincent

“A room full of lab rats and researchers came into view. The dumb creatures scurried around, unsuccessfully navigating the maze before them, sniffing the odd bit of cheese at the end of one corridor or another, before occasionally settling down and taking a measurement of the rats’ behavior.”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are Dead.

“businessmen wear ties. The tie is a piece of clothing that serves no known useful purpose. It does not keep the neck warm, nor does it keep the shirt from falling off, nor does it secure the collar to the shirt, nor even does it act as a counterweight to the heavy items that you might reasonably have in your back pocket. The tie therefore does nothing. Most women have quite sensibly forgone ties in favor of their own totally impractical and inexplicable garments, like high heels.”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are Dead.

“Physics holds that the faster you go, the slower time goes, and that if you go close to the speed of light time goes very slowly, and that you cannot go faster than the speed of light but if you ever do you go back in time. This idea was first introduced by Albert Einstein a very high speed ago.”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are Dead.

“It is therefore by definition impossible for cosmologists to discover anything, because they can’t see them, and if they do see them it instantly becomes astronomy and is no longer their problem.”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are Dead.