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“Codependents: don’t trust themselves. don’t trust their feelings. don’t trust their decisions. don’t trust other people. try to trust untrustworthy people.”
― Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
― Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Many codependents, at some time in their lives, were true victims—of someone’s abuse, neglect, abandonment, alcoholism, or any number of situations that can victimize people. We were, at some time, truly helpless to protect ourselves or solve our problems. Something came our way, something we didn’t ask for, and it hurt us terribly. That is sad, truly sad. But an even sadder fact is that many of us codependents began to see ourselves as victims. Our painful history repeats itself. As caretakers, we allow people to victimize us, and we participate in our victimization by perpetually rescuing people. Rescuing or caretaking is not an act of love.”
― Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
― Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“We rescue people from their responsibilities. We take care of people’s responsibilities for them. Later we get mad at them for what we’ve done. Then we feel used and sorry for ourselves. That is the pattern, the triangle.”
― Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
― Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Many of the people I’ve worked with in family groups have been that obsessed with people they care about. When I asked them what they were feeling, they told me what the other person was feeling. When I asked what they did, they told me what the other person had done. Their entire focus was on someone or something other than themselves. Some of them had spent years of their lives doing this—worrying about, reacting to, and trying to control other human beings. They were shells, sometimes almost invisible shells, of people. Their energy was depleted—directed at someone else. They couldn’t tell me what they were feeling and thinking because they didn’t know. Their focus was not on themselves.”
― Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
― Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Few situations—no matter how greatly they appear to demand it—can be bettered by us going berserk. Why do we do it, then? We react because we’re anxious and afraid of what has happened, what might happen, and what is happening. Many of us react as though everything is a crisis because we have lived with so many crises for so long that crisis reaction has become a habit. We react because we think things shouldn’t be happening the way they are. We react because we don’t feel good about ourselves. We react because most people react. We react because we think we have to react. We don’t have to. We don’t have to be so afraid of people. They are just people like us. We don’t have to forfeit our peace. It doesn’t help. We have the same facts and resources available to us when we’re peaceful that are available to us when we’re frantic and chaotic. Actually we have more resources available because our minds and emotions are free to perform at peak level.”
― Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
― Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Ruth’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at Ruth’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
950 books
|
109 friends
415 books
|
77 friends
12 books
|
2 friends
2 books
|
61 friends
1 book
|
81 friends
1 book
|
24 friends
0 books
|
21 friends
122 books
|
45 friends
More friends…
Favorite Genres
Polls voted on by Ruth
Lists liked by Ruth
