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“I always bring my core values to feedback conversations. I specifically bring courage, which means that I don’t choose comfort over being respectful and honest—choosing politeness over respect is not respectful.”
― Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
― Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
“know I’m living outside my values when I am…drum roll…this is a huge issue for me…resentful. Resentment is my barometer and my early warning system. It’s the canary in the coal mine. It shows up when I stay quiet in order not to piss off someone. It shows up when I put work before my well-being, and it blows the doors off the hinges when I’m not setting good boundaries.”
― Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
― Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
“In our political chaos, people throw around the word shameless when they see someone make a self-serving or unethical decision, and attributing unconscionable behavior to a lack of shame. This is wrong and dangerous. Shame isn’t the cure, it’s the cause. Don’t let what looks like a bloated ego and narcissism fool you into thinking there’s a lack of shame. Shame and fear are almost always driving that unethical behavior. We’re now seeing that shame often fuels narcissistic behavior. In fact, I define narcissism as the shame-based fear of being ordinary.”
― Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
― Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
“Shame is not a compass for moral behavior. It’s much more likely to drive destructive, hurtful, immoral, and self-aggrandizing behavior than it is to heal it. Why? Because where shame exists, empathy is almost always absent. That’s what makes shame dangerous. The opposite of experiencing shame is experiencing empathy. The behavior that many of us find so egregious today is more about people being empathyless, not shameless.”
― Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
― Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
“One of the signature mistakes with empathy is that we believe we can take our lenses off and look through the lenses of someone else. We can’t. Our lenses are soldered to who we are. What we can do, however, is honor people’s perspectives as truth even when they’re different from ours. That’s a challenge if you were raised in majority culture—white, straight, male, middle-class, Christian—and you were likely taught that your perspective is the correct perspective and everyone else needs to adjust their lens. Or, more accurately, you weren’t taught anything about perspective taking, and the default—My truth is the truth—is reinforced by every system and situation you encounter.”
― Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
― Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
Jessica’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at Jessica’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
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