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Bella McCord

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Bella McCord is currently reading

Thirteen Reasons Why

by Jay Asher (Goodreads Author)

bookshelves: favorites, currently-reading

Reading for the 2nd time

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Bella McCord said:

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

" ***Possible Spoilers/Trigger Warning***

This was the last book I read before I first entered high school, and it really changed how I saw the world. Before this book, I still saw some good in the world, despite the bad things that I both dealt with an ***Possible Spoilers/Trigger Warning***

This was the last book I read before I first entered high school, and it really changed how I saw the world. Before this book, I still saw some good in the world, despite the bad things that I both dealt with and knew of. But this book opened my eyes to how badly things escalate. And when I first read it, I will say I felt depressed afterwards. I mean, I got depressed a lot before it became an everyday thing, but this book really got me down the first time I read it. It took me a while to realize that it was because I related to Hannah Baker on some level. After that hit me, I began reading this book more often; I loved reading someone's words who felt the same way I felt (even though it's fictional). As I got older and kept reading it, I kept relating to Hannah more and more spiritually. And, obviously, the thoughts that I was having wasn't something I could easily explain to my friends.
I decided to use the book as a way to do that. If any of my friends noticed me reading it, I recommended it to them and hoped that, if i ever opened up to them, they would remember the book and understand how I felt. I hoped they would understand that, while the feelings and situations I've dealt with are temporary and past issues, it does cause a snowball effect, which takes a major toll on both one's life and happiness. One of my best friends borrowed the book for a few months, as she is a slow reader. She finally finished it while we were together, and she really enjoyed it. She sort of understood me a bit more when I opened up to her, and had a better realization of my feelings. I showed it to my other best friend after, and she took it for about 6 months. However, in those 6 months, she failed to get through the book because it was sad and it didn't interest her. It really made me feel bad, as that book is a way to explain my feelings, since i'm not good with words. I really wanted her to read it, because i wanted her to know how I felt, and how I was on the verge of breaking. While she does seem to understand my feelings, she doesn't understand the significance of the book, nor does she understand how easily the 'little' things can affect me.
I feel that this book does an amazing job of showing how things can slip out of control so easily, often without others realizing how bad it can be. I mean, whenever I read it, I see myself as Hannah, and my friends appear to me as Clay. However, I sometimes feel that they are too much like Clay, to the point where they would leave me easily if i asked them to, or they would be so oblivious and believe the act that I put on. They really do seem like so many people in that way, thinking that I may actually be okay when I'm not. It honestly hurts to know that, because I always try my best to make my friends happy and make sure they are okay. If I see they are upset, I make a notion to ask them what is wrong while also letting them know that I am there to talk. Yet, whenever I'm sad, all I seem to hear is radio silence.
As sad as this book can be at times, it is something that I relate to. I love this book, because, for once, it feels okay to feel the things that I'm feeling. For once, I feel like someone understands. For once, I feel like I'm not alone. ...more "

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(page 15 of 288)
— Apr 07, 2019 01:28PM

Mar 28, 2019 06:24PM · see review

Bella McCord is currently reading

Small Great Things

by Jodi Picoult (Goodreads Author)

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(page 178 of 510)
— Mar 31, 2019 08:10AM

Mar 25, 2019 10:29AM

Bella’s Quotes

“I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me.”
― David Levithan, Will Grayson, Will Grayson

tags: homicide, suicide

3520 likes

“Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.”
― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

tags: goodbye

5407 likes

“I go to seek a Great Perhaps.”
― François Rabelais

tags: death, french-renaissance-writer, john-green, last-words, life, looking-for-alaska, meaning-of-life, miles-halter

4572 likes

“Did you really want to die?"
"No one commits suicide because they want to die."
"Then why do they do it?"
"Because they want to stop the pain.”
― Tiffanie DeBartolo, How to Kill a Rock Star

tags: intent, pain, suicide

2784 likes