Benji

“He goes for people’s open wounds, then brings God in with air support. You have to agree, there’s a certain cowardice to that approach.”
― Chris Crutcher, Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes: Eric must uncover the terrifying secret behind Sarah's silence before it destroys them both—a YA novel of scars, loyalty, and survival.

“According to the man, who identified himself as Morton Thornton, the night got real long and by midnight, he was darn well wed to one of the lovelier inhabitants of the dish, a comely middle-aged amoeba of unknown parentage named Rita. When he was rescued on the morning of the following day, Morton plumb forgot about his single-celled nuptials and went back to his daytime job tasting the contents of open pop bottles for backwash and cigarette butts. Only sixteen years later, when a brilliant Sacajawea Junior High roving reporter—who shall remain nameless—discovered the product of this union lurking among us right here at Sac Junior High, was Morton’s long-held secret discovered. “This intrepid reporter was present three weeks into Dale Thornton’s third try at seventh grade, when the young Einstein bet this reporter and several other members of the class that he could keep a wad of chewing tobacco in his mouth from the beginning of fifth period Social Studies until the bell. The dumb jerk only lasted twenty minutes, after which he sprinted from the room, not to be seen for the rest of the day. When he returned on the following morning, he told Mr. Getz he had suddenly become ill and had to go home, but without a written excuse (he probably didn’t have a rock big enough for his dad to chisel it on) he was sent to the office. The principal, whose intellectual capacities lie only fractions of an IQ point above Dale’s, believed his lame story, and Dale was readmitted to class. Our dauntless reporter, however, smelled a larger story, recognizing that for a person to attempt this in the first place, even his genes would have to be dumber than dirt. With a zeal rivaled only by Alex Haley’s relentless search for Kunta Kinte, he dived into Dale’s seamy background, where he discovered the above story to be absolutely true and correct. Further developments will appear in this newspaper as they unfold.”
― Chris Crutcher, Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes: Eric must uncover the terrifying secret behind Sarah's silence before it destroys them both—a YA novel of scars, loyalty, and survival.

“Man with Brain the Size of Tic Tac Mates with Amoeba Couple gives birth to giant adjusto; names him Dale”
― Chris Crutcher, Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes: Eric must uncover the terrifying secret behind Sarah's silence before it destroys them both—a YA novel of scars, loyalty, and survival.

“SIXTEEN YEARS AGO IN HISTORY”
― Chris Crutcher, Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes: Eric must uncover the terrifying secret behind Sarah's silence before it destroys them both—a YA novel of scars, loyalty, and survival.