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Ulysses
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Apr 23, 2014 11:21AM

 
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Lemony Snicket
“Simply put, dramatic irony is when a person makes a harmless remark, and someone else who hears it knows something that makes the remark have a different, and usually unpleasant, meaning. For instance, if you were in a restaurant and said out loud, "I can't wait to eat the veal marsala I ordered," and there were people around who knew that the veal marsala was poisoned and that you would die as soon as you took a bite, your situation would be one of dramatic irony.”
Lemony Snicket, The Reptile Room

Lemony Snicket
“Normally it is not polite to go into somebody’s room without knocking, but you can make an exception if the person is dead, or pretending to be dead.”
Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

Lemony Snicket
“If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”
Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

Lemony Snicket
“It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season - like all the other seasons - is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them, and that's the end of this particular story.”
Lemony Snicket, The Lump of Coal

Lemony Snicket
“Composer” is a word which here means “a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play.” This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing.
This is called decomposing.”
Lemony Snicket, The Composer Is Dead

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