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Steph Mostav

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Steph Mostav is currently reading

The Remains of the Day

by Kazuo Ishiguro (Goodreads Author)

bookshelves: currently-reading, 1-contemporary, 3-novel, 5-xx-century, 6-japanese-literature, authors-of-color

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Jul 13, 2026 06:30AM

“I am a sick man.... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased. However, I know nothing at all about my disease, and do not know for certain what ails me. I don't consult a doctor for it, and never have, though I have a respect for medicine and doctors. Besides, I am extremely superstitious, sufficiently so to respect medicine, anyway (I am well-educated enough not to be superstitious, but I am superstitious). No, I refuse to consult a doctor from spite. That you probably will not understand. Well, I understand it, though. Of course, I can't explain who it is precisely that I am mortifying in this case by my spite: I am perfectly well aware that I cannot "pay out" the doctors by not consulting them; I know better than anyone that by all this I am only injuring myself and no one else. But still, if I don't consult a doctor it is from spite. My liver is bad, well--let it get worse!”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground

tags: existential, philosophy, psychological

6 likes