Pili

“There are two basic coping mechanisms. One consists of dreading the chaos, fighting it and abusing oneself after losing, building a structured life of work/marriage/gym/reunions/children/depression/affair/divorce/alcoholism/recovery/heart attack, in which every decision is a reaction against the fear of the worst (make children to avoid being forgotten, fuck someone at the reunion in case the opportunity never comes again, and the Holy Grail of paradoxes: marry to combat loneliness, then plunge into that constant marital desire to be alone). This is the life that cannot be won, but it does offer the comforts of battle—the human heart is content when distracted by war.

“The second mechanism is an across-the-board acceptance of the absurd all around us. Everything that exists, from consciousness to the digestive workings of the human body to sound waves and bladeless fans, is magnificently unlikely. It seems so much likelier that things would not exist at all and yet the world shows up to class every morning as the cosmos takes attendance. Why combat the unlikeliness? This is the way to survive in this world, to wake up in the morning and receive a cancer diagnosis, discover that a man has murdered forty children, discover that the milk has gone sour, and exclaim, 'How unlikely! Yet here we are,' and have a laugh, and swim in the chaos, swim without fear, swim without expectation but always with an appreciation of every whim, the beauty of screwball twists and jerks that pump blood through our emaciated veins.”
― Jaroslav Kalfar, Spaceman of Bohemia

“the world as it was could never be more than a fraction of the world, for the real also consisted of what could have happened but didn’t, that one road was no better or worse than any other road, but the torment of being alive in a single body was that at any given moment you had to be on one road only, even though you could have been on another, traveling toward an altogether different place.”
― Paul Auster, 4 3 2 1

“Me estoy atando los zapatos, contento, silbando, y de pronto la infelicidad. Pero esta vez te pesqué, angustia, te sentí previa a cualquier organización mental, al primer juicio de negación. Como un color gris que fuera un dolor y fuera el estómago. Y casi a la par (pero después, esta vez no me engañas) se abrió paso el repertorio inteligible, con una primera idea explicatoria: «Y ahora vivir otro día, etc.» De donde se sigue: «Estoy angustiado porque... etc.» Las ideas a vela, impulsadas por el viento primordial que sopla desde abajo (pero abajo es sólo una localización física). Basta un cambio de brisa (¿pero qué es lo que la cambia de cuadrante?) y al segundo están aquí las barquitas felices, con sus velas de colores. «Después de todo no hay razón para quejarse, che», ese estilo…Estoy obligado a tolerar que el sol salga todos los días. Es monstruoso. Es inhumano".”
― Julio Cortázar, Rayuela

“しかし自分について語ろうとするとき、僕は常に軽い混乱に巻き込まれることになる。「自分とはなにか」。
Sin embargo, cuando intento hablar de mi mismo siempre termino ligeramente envuelto en confusión. ¿Quién soy yo?”
― Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart