Brittany

“I exchanged my flannel shirt for a Rangers jersey and zapped the television on. Probably I should make more phone calls, but the Rangers were playing and priorities were priorities.”
― Janet Evanovich, Three to Get Deadly

“The kid pulled a Buck knife out of his pants pocket. "How about giving me your purse, bitch?"

Sally hiked up his skirt, reached into his briefs and pulled out a Glock.

"How about using that knife to slice off your balls?"

Lula whipped a gun out of her red satin purse and Grandma hauled out her .45 long-barrel.

"Day my make, punk," Grandma said.

"Hey, I don't want any trouble," the kid said. "We were just having some fun."

"I want to shoot him," Sally said. "Nobody'll tell, right?"

"No fair," Lula said. "I want to shoot him."

"Okay," Grandma said. "On the count of three, we'll all shoot him.”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

“I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said.
Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good.”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

“What's the difference between a classical guitar and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.”
― Faye Kellerman, Hangman