Travis Hardiman

“Well, the thing is, Norm, you are absolutely correct,” said Lorne. “Jim is nonpareil.” Then he just looked at me. A long time passed—maybe forty-five minutes—until I finally said, “All right, all right. What’s that word mean?”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story

“It's like you're born and they put eggs and index cards and fish in a blender, and you have to drink it. Every sip is worse, but you have to keep going every day. The last sip is horrible and then the glass is empty, and life's over.”
― Drew, Veins

“When I was right beside Ben Matlock, I threw the Archie comic away and grabbed the biggest, thickest book I could find and turned to a random page. Then I loudly said, “What the fuck? I certainly didn’t see that shit coming.” Ben Matlock turned his back to me.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story

“The only good thing about the 1980s was that they invented rap, but rap didn't get good until 1992, so what does that say about the 1980s.”
― Drew