Travis Hardiman

“Police can get you for any reason, so when you go in a building and it's red/white/blue everywhere, it makes you wonder if someone's going to jump out with handcuffs. When you say "I'm just here for the job" the cop throws you a meth, and you catch it, and then he snaps on the handcuffs. "You're arrested. Meth. It's time to come downtown.”
― Drew, Veins

“As Adolf Hitler once said, all publicity is good publicity.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story

“I hate when people say “touché” after you say something funny. I don’t know what it means, but I know that I hate it.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story

“Death is a funny thing. Not funny haha, like a Woody Allen movie, but funny strange, like a Woody Allen marriage.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story