“Borderlines create the vicious circles they fear most. They become angry and drive the relationship to the breaking point, then switch to a posture of helplessness and contrition, beg for reconciliation. If both parties are equally enmeshed, chaos and conflict become the soul of the relationship.”
―
―
“We need this help from the outside because we don't know how to to do this for ourselves. We start with a deep deficit—a chasm really—when it comes to understanding and being tolerant of ourselves, and that's even before we go forth to do battle with the rest of the world. As soon as someone judges, criticizes, dismisses, or ignores, the cycle of pain and reactivity ramps up, compounded by shame, remorse, and rejection. The act of validation, simply saying, 'I can see things from your perspective,' can short-circuit that emotional detour.”
― The Buddha and the Borderline
― The Buddha and the Borderline
“This will sound strange, and yet I'm sure it was the point: it was a bit like being high. That, for me, anyway, had always been the attraction of drugs, to stop the brutal round of hypercritical thinking, to escape the ravages of an unoccupied mind cannibalizing itself.”
―
―
“The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.”
―
―
“I need them to be aware and present with me in the midst of the storm, not just tell me what to do.”
― The Buddha and the Borderline
― The Buddha and the Borderline
Libor’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at Libor’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
More friends…
Favorite Genres
Polls voted on by Libor
Lists liked by Libor











