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75,831 books
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281,780 voters
Shay
https://www.goodreads.com/mrsaddison
“Bedtime makes you realize how completely incapable you are of being in charge of another human being. My children act like they’ve never been to sleep before. “Bed? What’s that? No, I’m not doing that.” They never want to go to bed. This is another thing that I will never have in common with my children. Every morning when I wake up, my first thought is, “When can I come back here?” It’s the carrot that keeps me motivated. Sometimes going to bed feels like the highlight of my day. Ironically, to my children, bedtime is a punishment that violates their basic rights as human beings. Once the lights are out, you can expect at least an hour of inmates clanging their tin cups on the cell bars.”
― Dad Is Fat
― Dad Is Fat
“You're a prefect? Oh Ronnie! That's everyone in the family!"
"What are Fred and I? Next door neighbors?”
― Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
"What are Fred and I? Next door neighbors?”
― Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
“Babies are the worst roommates. They’re unemployed. They don’t pay rent. They keep insane hours. Their hygiene is horrible. If you had a roommate that did any of the things babies do, you’d ask them to move out. “Do you remember what happened last night? Today you’re all smiles, but last night you were hitting the bottle really hard. Then you started screaming, and you threw up on me. Then you passed out and wet yourself. I went into the other room to get you some dry clothes, I came back, and you were all over my wife’s breasts! Right in front of me, her husband! Dude, you gotta move out.”
― Dad Is Fat
― Dad Is Fat
“Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.”
― Dad Is Fat
― Dad Is Fat
“Once your baby starts to walk you’ll realize why cribs are designed like prisons from the early 1900s. This is clearly because toddlers are a danger to themselves. The main responsibility for a parent of a toddler is to stop them from accidentally hurting or killing themselves. They are superclumsy. If you don’t believe me, watch a two-year-old girl attempt to walk up stairs in a long dress. It looks like a Carol Burnett sketch. Also, toddler judgment is horrible. They don’t have any. Put a twelve-month-old on a bed, and they will immediately try and crawl off headfirst like a lemming on a mindless migration mission. But the toddler mission is never mindless. They have two goals: find poison and find something to destroy.”
― Dad Is Fat
― Dad Is Fat
Shay’s 2024 Year in Books
Take a look at Shay’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
1,235 books
|
77 friends
4,433 books
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4,823 friends
280 books
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53 friends
615 books
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406 friends
847 books
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59 friends
284 books
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163 friends
728 books
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71 friends
856 books
|
727 friends
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