Samantha Witty

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“We try to stay as thin as possible - which also keeps us weak. When you're skinny, you have no body fat; when you have no body fat, you're cold all the time; and when you're cold all the time, you stay inside; and when you stay inside... you don't vote. I may be joking about that last part... but I'm not totally wrong. Ever stop to think that by keeping women eternally preoccupied with superficialities that we might be missing out on important things in life?”
― Iliza Shlesinger, Girl Logic: The Genius and the Absurdity

“If a rattlesnake thinks he can swallow a mouse, he probably can. Don’t assume you think like a snake unless you are one.”
― Alan Alda

“To put it another way, language is a tool box and swearing is a hammer. You can try to pound a nail into a piece of wood with the handle of your screwdriver, with your wrench, or with your pliers, but it's only your hammer that's perfectly designed for the job.”
― Melissa Mohr, Holy Sh*t: A Brief History of Swearing