Nancy Raymond

“Do people your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

“When I die, I die. I could give a shit, ’cause it ain’t my problem. I’d just rather not shit my pants on the way there,”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

“On Asking to Have the Candy Passed to Me During Schindler’s List “What do you want—the candy? They’re throwing people in the fucking gas chamber, and you want a Skittles?”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

“You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says