Thatsabbie

“There are no wrong roads to anywhere.”
― Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

“The problem with the suspenders my mother bought for him is that he hasn't adjusted the straps since he got them. So instead of attaching somewhere around his midsection, the suspenders clip onto his pants three inches below his nipples. Now picture the suspenders attached to sweatpants. This vision is what first led me to coin the term "camel balls.”
― Chelsea Handler, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

“Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a lot of friends like that, and I think it's because it makes me look 'more together.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“We have been sitting here all night bullshitting and we still don’t know what to do.”
― Tao Lin, Shoplifting from American Apparel