Allison Lichtenberg

“Those were dreadful words. “Not many minutes” was a common phrase in Yorkshire and could mean anything up to two hours.”
― James Herriot, The Lord God Made Them All

“lie around all day eating them while watching episodes of ER. I watched every episode of every series of ER.”
― Lily Allen, My Thoughts Exactly

“In the seventh inning fans all get up and sing, ‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game,’ and they’re already there!” Andersen says. “It’s really a stupid thing to say and I don’t know who made ’em sing it. Why would somebody that’s there get up and sing ‘Take me out to the ball game?’ The first person to do it must have been a moron.” It could have been”
― Hal Bodley, How Baseball Explains America

“See if she can stick her own straw in a Capri Sun (this should be on state testing).”
― Gerry Brooks, Go See the Principal: True Tales from the School Trenches